Chrysalis Press

Wendy at Melodious Meyhem tagged me for this meme. Thanks friend!

I am….. a woman’s woman.
I want….. to celebrate the receptive side of life.
I have….. one daughter, one sister, two step-sisters, a sister-in-law, and countless “siestas.”

I wish….. I had a twin sister.
I hate….. women who talk about themselves too much.

I miss….. my deceased mother (diabetes).
I fear….. violence.
I feel….. discouraged by all the evil in the world.
I hear….. the washing machine.
I smell….. my Tommy Bahama perfume.

I crave….. knowledge and visual stimulation (art & design).
I search….. the Scriptures for Truth.

I wonder….. about gender differences.

I regret….. broken relationships of all kinds.
I love….. my two kids intensely.
I ache….. for children who suffer around the globe.

I care….. about human trafficking.

I always….. stay very healthy.

I am not….. a devotional writer or reader.

I believe….. I will live to be 100.

I dance….. in salsa/swing/ballroom aerobics classes.
I sing….. primarily in church.

I cry….. fairly infrequently.

I don’t always….. like to use the phone.
I fight….. passionately for Truth.
I write….. every day.  

I never…. want to divorce.
I listen….. best when I remember to stop trying to solve the problem.

I need….. to guess at people’s motivational gifts.

I am happy….. when I’m traveling with my husband.

Click here for the “tagees.” The Beauty of Femininity is my interpretation of this meme. You’re free to handle it any way you choose, and only if you have the time. 

If you’re new here, welcome! Please stop by and see me at my primary blog, Chrysalis

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo: Adwriter (Flickr)

Sweet Teresa at Far More Than Diamonds tagged me for this meme.

The Rules

·        My orange kitty often crawls into my lap while I’m at the keyboard. (He’s not here now.)

·        The doctor gave me the exact same due date for both of my babies. In each case, I gave birth by C-section—almost exactly three years apart!

·        I love those droopy white phaelenopsis orchids; we have several in our living room, along with a few orange bromeliads.

·        We live in an urban neighborhood in a character home that was built in 1909. Currently we’re renovating the master bedroom and bath.

·        I enjoy gourmet cooking, boating, and dance. I just enrolled in a salsa/samba/ ballroom aerobics class that begins next week.

·        We love to travel! I’ve seen most of western Europe, plus most of Canada and the U.S. Our next destination? The Caribbean.

·        I buy far too many books, but thankfully, they’re fairly affordable used at amazon.com.

Instead of tagging 7 people to do this meme, I’ve tagged 7 people for a little quiz. Click here for a link to the quiz, and to see if I’ve chosen YOU!

If you’re brand new here today, please visit me at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you over there soon!

Blessings,

e-Mom

Photo: wanderingnome (Flickr)

“It’s been like one long lovely afternoon…”

Following are my answers to the Bible study posted for Marriage Monday’s November topic:

“Submission is a Decision NOT a Dirty Word” 
by e-Mom at C h r y s a l i s

Please read Ephesians 5:22-33 

1.     Who are wives commanded to be subject to? 

      Their own husbands 

2.     Who else are wives commanded to be subject to?

      The Lord 

3.     Is submission an emotional feeling or a decision of the will? Why?

      It’s a decision. You can’t command feelings. 

4.     Who is the head of the wife?

      Her husband

5.     Who is the head and Savior of the Body (Church)?

      Christ 

6. In what area of their lives are wives commanded to be subject to their husbands? Give examples.      

      In everything. Home, work, child-rearing etc.

7. Why do you think the commands in this passage on marriage are given to the wife first?       

      She is naturally motivated to work on her marriage relationship. There’s a reciprocal effect. As she submits, her husband becomes more loving toward her. 

8. What is a hierarchy?       

      A chain of command, as in a military setting. A pecking order of functional repsonsibility as in a boss-employee relationship.

9. Which marriage partner is do you think is responsible for establishing the hierarchical relationship described in this passage, the wife or the husband?        

      The wife       

10. What are husbands commanded to do in regard to their wives?       

      To love their wife

11. Do you think this kind of love is an emotional feeling or a decision of the will?       

      Decision. You can’t command feelings.

12. According to this passage, what did Christ do to demonstrate his love for the church?       

      He died for her 

13. Why did Christ give himself up for the Church?       

      In order to sanctify her

14. Define the word “sanctify.”      

      Consecrate, set apart as holy, purify, or free from sin 

15. With what does Christ cleanse his church?                                     

      With his Word

16. Based on this passage, which of the five senses does the wife use to perceive her husband’s love for her?       Ears, sense of hearing 

Behind the Scenes at Chrysalis−Embarassing Bloggy Bloopers

What does e-Mom Blogger have in common with Beth Moore, other than a lot of e’s, o’s, M’s, and B’s? 

We’re both Moms, we’re both human, and we both make mistakes!

The lovely Jana at Later I’m Blogging, tagged me for this meme. I’ve decided to take this opportunity to air my blogging dirty laundry.

Would you laugh with me? Maybe you’ve done a few of these dumb things too.

1.     This week, I blogged about grandparents during the holidays. I mentioned Vicki’s grand daughter Lexie (Windows to My Soul) and stated she was three. Suddenly Vicki appeared in the Chrysalis comment box and gently corrected me. This new believer is actually five. Oiy! 

2.     A few days ago, I left a comment at The Next Step thanking Tammy for linking up with Marriage Monday. As I hit “publish,” suddenly I remembered she spells her name Tami. Whoops, my bad. 

3.     Laura Christianson is the author of two adoption books. In my recent interview, I posted a cool photo show about her family, but I couldn’t figure out how to turn off the embedded music. Every time a reader uploaded my blog, they were assaulted by a crazy upbeat tune that played over and over. Unfortunately, I had to send two very disgruntled commentors to the trash. Ouch! 

4.     A few months ago, I quoted a very serious article about the Emerging Movement by Scott Mcnight. Robin at PENSIEVE quietly pointed out that his name is actually spelled Scot McNight. (Who would notice?) 

Edit: A little clarification is in order. Robin probably never knew she had helped me out. In her comment on that Scot McKnight post, she had correctly spelled his name with one “t” and duh, I noticed! I thought she was so subtle… Thanks, my friend! 

5.     Last year, when I was still using comment moderation, I immediately responded by e-mail to some warm thoughts left by Iris at Laced With Grace. She later returned to Chrysalis and kindly remarked that she couldn’t find her comment anywhere. In my enthusiasm, I’d forgotten to publish it. (Visitors do remember.) 

6.     I don’t know how many times I’ve written a lengthy “intelligent” comment on a meaty post only have it eaten by the bloggy monsters before I’ve had a chance to hit publish. By then I’m all out of energy, and must simply type “Thanks for sharing” before I slink away. Sigh. 

How about you? Have you made any whopping bloggy bloopers? 

With love,

e-Mom 

P.S. If you’re new here, please visit me at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you over there!

P.P.S. I’m going to tag the five bloggers named above: Vicki, Tami, Laura, Robin, and Iris to play along. But ladies, only if you have the time.

Photo: White Knight (Flickr)

Bible Study  

Submission is a Descision NOT a Dirty Word
by e-Mom at C h r y s a l i s   

Wives, submit [hupotasso] to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits [hupotasso] to Christ, so also wives should submit [hupotasso] to their husbands in everything.
(Eph 5: 22-24) 

A. Submission in Marriage 

Hupotasso [hoop-ot-as-so] Greek: To subordinate, to obey, be under obedience, put under, subdue unto, be or make subject, to be put in subjection to or under, submit self unto.
(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance) 

Submit: Surrender oneself for control, give way, make submission, yield, cease or abstain from resistance. (The Concise Oxford Dictionary) 

Subject: Under government, not independent, owing obedience to. (The Concise Oxford Dictionary)

Please read Ephesians 5:22-33 

1.     Who are wives commanded to be subject to?  2.     Who else are wives commanded to be subject to? 

• Submission in Marriage. 1 Peter 3:1-7
• Submission to God. Romans 10:1-4; James 4:5-10
• Submission to Government. Romans 13:1-10;
  1 Peter 2:13-17; Titus 3:1-2
• Submission to Church Leadership. 1 Timothy 2:11-15; 1 Peter 5:5-7
• Submission in the Workplace. 1 Peter 2:18-25
• Submission Between Christians.
  Ephesians 5:15-21  

Want this button?

Thanks for your hard work! I trust you learned some new truth this week. Share your answers on your blog and link up in Mister Linky at Chrysalis by Friday, Nov. 9, 2007. Remember to visit the other friendly Marriage Monday participants.

More study questions are available on the Biblical passages (B) above. If you’re curious, please leave me a comment here at Chrysalis Press. If there’s enough interest, I’ll post them as a follow-up.

If you’re new to this site, welcome. This Bible study is part of a discussion on submission in Christian marriage. Please join us on Nov. 5, 2007 for the Marriage Monday Meme at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you there!

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo: knox_tri (Flickr)                 

Berber or Shag? 

I have come to believe that our greatest strengths, out of balance, can become our greatest area of weakness. Sometimes our loves, which arise out of our natural talents, become the things we lust for. I am a highly visual person. At heart, I am an artist. My eyes are the first way I experience the world. I take in the colors, the movement, and the forms of life first. Then I feel the textures of things and the emotion. Lastly I hear sounds. My mother once said that as an infant, I kept my body very still in my carriage. But my eyes were always quite active, swiveling side-to-side like the ceramic eyes on a ventriloquist’s puppet.  

Learning style theorists say there are three modalities or sensory input channels: sight, sound, and feelings. People usually favor one over the others. For example, let’s say a little boy is taken to the beach for the first time. He has never explored the ocean before. A visual boy will watch the rolling surf and the other children playing in the water; an auditory child will listen intently to the crashing of the breaking waves; and a kinesthetic/feeling person will dive head first into the sea. 

You can tell a person’s main way of perceiving the world by listening to their choice of words. For example, I might say: I see what you mean. I get the picture. An auditory person would say: I hear you. That rings true to me. A kinesthetic/feeling person would say: I am touched by what you have said. That feels right to me. Psychologists say that by mirroring or repeating the types of words and phrases someone uses, you can win their trust. Successful salespeople do this. And so do courtroom lawyers. In conversation, if you shift to the modality a person is using, they will immediately relax and feel understood and accepted. You’ll have an inside track to their heart.  

For years I was a shelter magazine junkie. I scoured every Architectural Digest or House and Garden magazine I could get my hands on. As a professional designer, I often read Interior Design magazine while munching my tuna sandwich at my desk over lunch. And sometimes Karl would come home with magazines from France like Maison et Jardin or Cote Sud, because I love all things French, including Provencal interiors. I could get lost for hours between the pages of those publications. But in a way, for me, those magazines were a kind of pornography. 

Until we bought our first house, I lusted after houses of every kind. I collected all sorts of miniature buildings. They lined the shelves of my kitchen cupboards. There was a Delft blue and white vinegar jar shaped like a stepped-gable Dutch house, a china windmill, and a replica of a Greek whitewashed building. I owned an octagonal silver plate piggy bank shaped like Georgian-style mansion, and a collection of folding cardboard Tudor buildings. At Christmas, I bought a German wooden toy city. There was a steepled church and lots of little red roof houses. I arranged them on top of our fireplace mantle. When I wasn’t at work designing the interiors of stores, offices, banks or hospitals, I spent my time dreaming about how I wanted my own home to look someday.

When the loan finally closed on our first house I was ecstatic. I was pregnant with my second baby, and we definitely couldn’t squeeze one more person in our cramped two-bedroom apartment. I tucked our three-year old daughter in to the back seat of our brown Honda Civic, and drove around the city looking at neighborhoods and houses for four months. We finally settled on a 1909 fixer-upper in one of our city’s nicest but most expensive neighborhoods. The house was in bad shape, but it had good bones: nine foot ceilings, hardwood floors, and interesting woodwork. There was lots of potential. There was even a white picket fence all the way around the back yard.  

It took about five years to transform the place into livable space. We did most of the work ourselves. While Karl and his brothers pounded their hammers, I painted, wallpapered and stitched just about everything. The result was a charming French country look, complete with terra cotta tiles laid on the diagonal in the kitchen. My standards were high. After all, my mother had been able to hire a professional decorator. There was just one problem—we couldn’t afford to buy new furniture, so the house never felt finished. To compensate, I ceaselessly rotated the botanical prints on the walls in the living room (their seasonal migration my family called it), shopped by mail for accessories like lamps and throw pillows, and I stripped and painted garage-sale finds and family hand-me downs. I was finally able to say “O.K. it’s done” when we were asked if we would like to be included on a neighborhood charity Tour of Homes. To me, the compliment was enough and we declined. 

There are many creative ways to beautify an environment, some as inexpensive as the cost of a single gallon of paint, or placing new fabric napkins on a table. Whatever the interior furnishings, it is not difficult to keep a room clean, arrange fresh cut flowers in a vase, or light candles on a dark day. But the best way of all, is to add one’s own cheerful presence. There are no people in those gorgeous magazine spreads. A room comes alive with people. People are the subject. The rest is just a picture frame to set a mood.  

Sometimes our legitimate need for material security and a beautiful environment can get way out of balance. Most of the time, we want what we can’t afford. And everyone’s taste is different. Our sense of style and design naturally has a lot to do with what we were raised with. Unless we take the time to train our eye and elevate our level of exposure, we tend to emulate the interior furnishings of our parent’s home. I have set foot in homes decorated like palaces, and I have been in slums. Both kinds of environments are a reflection of the inhabitants’ experience in life and lifestyle. But I have learned that often, what is an unattractive interior to my eye, does not necessarily reflect the quality of relationships of the people living there.  

So I no longer judge the picture by its frame. Sometimes the ugliest environments shelter the closest, most affectionate families. In a home, it is the quality of love that makes the difference, not the stuff. Even if we don’t have the experience, money or the energy to decorate a room—or even a whole house the way we would like—we can still be kind to one another. And caring, and thoughtful. We can still laugh!

Note: If you’re new here, please visit me at my main weblog, Chrysalis. This post is an adjunct to my piece there entitled, “How to Write Your Autobiography.” I’ll see you when you get there!

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo Credit: Robem (Flickr)

 Once again, I’ve been tagged by a generous soul in blogdom. A fellow-resident of the beautiful (and sometimes soggy) Pacific Northwest, Jennifer at Dairy of 1 is a homeschooling mother of four. She’s asked me to post 8 random things about myself. The rules are here.

If you’re new here, please be sure to visit me at my main web blog Chrysalis. See you there!

1.     My parents sent me to French immersion kindergarten (Quebec). Every Friday, the teacher served our class la glace au chocolat. 

2.     My parents also sent me to French immersion summer camp that year. Without my familiar satin-edged “blankie,” I was cured of sucking my thumb. 

3.     Fast forward 40+ years. Recently, I took a week-long crash course in Hebrew. My nick-name was Naomi which means “The Lord is My Delight.” 

4.     One of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen is My Great Big Fat Greek Wedding. “And the rrrrroot word for Port-o-kalos is portokali… which mean’ O-range… We’ all different, but in the end, we’ all fruit!”  

5.     Canadian Bacon is another funny movie. As a Canadian expat. I especially enjoy the scene where the graffiti on John Candy’s truck must be written en Francais. 

6.     I really don’t like talk radio. But my husband thrives on it during election season. 

7.     Two of my poems are published in anthologies. 

8.     I thought I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. At my very first writer’s conference, all the published authors kept saying, “Don’t quit your day job.” I took their advice and remained a SAM.  

OK, you’re It! (But only if you want to play.)