Wendy at Melodious Meyhem tagged me for this meme. Thanks friend!

I am….. a woman’s woman.
I want….. to celebrate the receptive side of life.
I have….. one daughter, one sister, two step-sisters, a sister-in-law, and countless “siestas.”

I wish….. I had a twin sister.
I hate….. women who talk about themselves too much.

I miss….. my deceased mother (diabetes).
I fear….. violence.
I feel….. discouraged by all the evil in the world.
I hear….. the washing machine.
I smell….. my Tommy Bahama perfume.

I crave….. knowledge and visual stimulation (art & design).
I search….. the Scriptures for Truth.

I wonder….. about gender differences.

I regret….. broken relationships of all kinds.
I love….. my two kids intensely.
I ache….. for children who suffer around the globe.

I care….. about human trafficking.

I always….. stay very healthy.

I am not….. a devotional writer or reader.

I believe….. I will live to be 100.

I dance….. in salsa/swing/ballroom aerobics classes.
I sing….. primarily in church.

I cry….. fairly infrequently.

I don’t always….. like to use the phone.
I fight….. passionately for Truth.
I write….. every day.  

I never…. want to divorce.
I listen….. best when I remember to stop trying to solve the problem.

I need….. to guess at people’s motivational gifts.

I am happy….. when I’m traveling with my husband.

Click here for the “tagees.” The Beauty of Femininity is my interpretation of this meme. You’re free to handle it any way you choose, and only if you have the time. 

If you’re new here, welcome! Please stop by and see me at my primary blog, Chrysalis

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo: Adwriter (Flickr)

Sweet Teresa at Far More Than Diamonds tagged me for this meme.

The Rules

·        My orange kitty often crawls into my lap while I’m at the keyboard. (He’s not here now.)

·        The doctor gave me the exact same due date for both of my babies. In each case, I gave birth by C-section—almost exactly three years apart!

·        I love those droopy white phaelenopsis orchids; we have several in our living room, along with a few orange bromeliads.

·        We live in an urban neighborhood in a character home that was built in 1909. Currently we’re renovating the master bedroom and bath.

·        I enjoy gourmet cooking, boating, and dance. I just enrolled in a salsa/samba/ ballroom aerobics class that begins next week.

·        We love to travel! I’ve seen most of western Europe, plus most of Canada and the U.S. Our next destination? The Caribbean.

·        I buy far too many books, but thankfully, they’re fairly affordable used at amazon.com.

Instead of tagging 7 people to do this meme, I’ve tagged 7 people for a little quiz. Click here for a link to the quiz, and to see if I’ve chosen YOU!

If you’re brand new here today, please visit me at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you over there soon!

Blessings,

e-Mom

Photo: wanderingnome (Flickr)

“It’s been like one long lovely afternoon…”

 

Following are my answers to the Bible study posted for Marriage Monday’s November topic:

“Submission is a Decision NOT a Dirty Word” 
by e-Mom at C h r y s a l i s

Please read Ephesians 5:22-33 

1.     Who are wives commanded to be subject to? 

      Their own husbands 

2.     Who else are wives commanded to be subject to?

      The Lord 

3.     Is submission an emotional feeling or a decision of the will? Why?

      It’s a decision. You can’t command feelings. 

4.     Who is the head of the wife?

      Her husband

5.     Who is the head and Savior of the Body (Church)?

      Christ 

6. In what area of their lives are wives commanded to be subject to their husbands? Give examples.      

      In everything. Home, work, child-rearing etc.

7. Why do you think the commands in this passage on marriage are given to the wife first?       

      She is naturally motivated to work on her marriage relationship. There’s a reciprocal effect. As she submits, her husband becomes more loving toward her. 

8. What is a hierarchy?       

      A chain of command, as in a military setting. A pecking order of functional repsonsibility as in a boss-employee relationship.

9. Which marriage partner is do you think is responsible for establishing the hierarchical relationship described in this passage, the wife or the husband?        

      The wife       

10. What are husbands commanded to do in regard to their wives?       

      To love their wife

11. Do you think this kind of love is an emotional feeling or a decision of the will?       

      Decision. You can’t command feelings.

12. According to this passage, what did Christ do to demonstrate his love for the church?       

      He died for her 

13. Why did Christ give himself up for the Church?       

      In order to sanctify her

14. Define the word “sanctify.”      

      Consecrate, set apart as holy, purify, or free from sin 

15. With what does Christ cleanse his church?                                     

      With his Word

16. Based on this passage, which of the five senses does the wife use to perceive her husband’s love for her?       Ears, sense of hearing 

17. What imagery is suggested by the words “washing with water,” “spot,” and “wrinkle?”

      Soiled garments, dirty clothes−our corrupted mortal bodies which are subject to death and decay. 

18. From this passage, whose body is the wife a part of? 

      Her husband’s (Remember, Eve was created from Adam’s side.) 

19. Whose example should a husband follow? How should he treat his wife? 

      Christ. He should nourish, cherish

20. From this passage, what does the “one flesh” relationship between a husband and a wife represent spiritually?

      The union of Christ and his Church 

21. Do you think a wife’s participation in sexual relations with her husband communicates her submission to him? 

      Yes, it’s a very important way that she communicates her vulnerable surrender to his masculine strength.

22. Besides being subject to their husbands, what are wives also commanded to do? 

      Respect

23. Why aren’t wives commanded to love their husbands? 

      Men’s primary need is not love, but respect.

24. What does this passage say to you about a husband’s greatest need in relation to his wife? 

      A man needs his wife’s submission, trust, vulnerability, respect, and a sense of “we” not “I.” 

25. What does this passage say to you about a wife’s greatest need in relation to her husband? 

      She needs his caring, nurturing, self-sacrificing, risk-taking leadership and protective love.

Thanks for all your hard work! 

If you’re new to this site, welcome. Please join us on Dec. 3, 2007 for Marriage Monday at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you then.  

Blessings,

     e-Mom

Photo: knox_tri (Flickr)         

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Behind the Scenes at Chrysalis−Embarassing Bloggy Bloopers

What does e-Mom Blogger have in common with Beth Moore, other than a lot of e’s, o’s, M’s, and B’s? 

We’re both Moms, we’re both human, and we both make mistakes!

The lovely Jana at Later I’m Blogging, tagged me for this meme. I’ve decided to take this opportunity to air my blogging dirty laundry.

Would you laugh with me? Maybe you’ve done a few of these dumb things too.

1.     This week, I blogged about grandparents during the holidays. I mentioned Vicki’s grand daughter Lexie (Windows to My Soul) and stated she was three. Suddenly Vicki appeared in the Chrysalis comment box and gently corrected me. This new believer is actually five. Oiy! 

2.     A few days ago, I left a comment at The Next Step thanking Tammy for linking up with Marriage Monday. As I hit “publish,” suddenly I remembered she spells her name Tami. Whoops, my bad. 

3.     Laura Christianson is the author of two adoption books. In my recent interview, I posted a cool photo show about her family, but I couldn’t figure out how to turn off the embedded music. Every time a reader uploaded my blog, they were assaulted by a crazy upbeat tune that played over and over. Unfortunately, I had to send two very disgruntled commentors to the trash. Ouch! 

4.     A few months ago, I quoted a very serious article about the Emerging Movement by Scott Mcnight. Robin at PENSIEVE quietly pointed out that his name is actually spelled Scot McNight. (Who would notice?) 

Edit: A little clarification is in order. Robin probably never knew she had helped me out. In her comment on that Scot McKnight post, she had correctly spelled his name with one “t” and duh, I noticed! I thought she was so subtle… Thanks, my friend! 

5.     Last year, when I was still using comment moderation, I immediately responded by e-mail to some warm thoughts left by Iris at Laced With Grace. She later returned to Chrysalis and kindly remarked that she couldn’t find her comment anywhere. In my enthusiasm, I’d forgotten to publish it. (Visitors do remember.) 

6.     I don’t know how many times I’ve written a lengthy “intelligent” comment on a meaty post only have it eaten by the bloggy monsters before I’ve had a chance to hit publish. By then I’m all out of energy, and must simply type “Thanks for sharing” before I slink away. Sigh. 

How about you? Have you made any whopping bloggy bloopers? 

With love,

e-Mom 

P.S. If you’re new here, please visit me at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you over there!

P.P.S. I’m going to tag the five bloggers named above: Vicki, Tami, Laura, Robin, and Iris to play along. But ladies, only if you have the time.

Photo: White Knight (Flickr)

 

Bible Study  

 Submission is a Descision NOT a Dirty Word
by e-Mom at C h r y s a l i s   

 Wives, submit [hupotasso] to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits [hupotasso] to Christ, so also wives should submit [hupotasso] to their husbands in everything.
(Eph 5: 22-24) 

 A. Submission in Marriage 

Hupotasso [hoop-ot-as-so] Greek: To subordinate, to obey, be under obedience, put under, subdue unto, be or make subject, to be put in subjection to or under, submit self unto.
(Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance) 

 Submit: Surrender oneself for control, give way, make submission, yield, cease or abstain from resistance. (The Concise Oxford Dictionary) 

Subject: Under government, not independent, owing obedience to. (The Concise Oxford Dictionary)

Please read Ephesians 5:22-33 

1.     Who are wives commanded to be subject to? 

3.     Is submission an emotional feeling or a decision of the will? Why? 

4.     Who is the head of the wife? 

5.     Who is the head and Savior of the Body (Church)? 

6. In what area of their lives are wives commanded to be subject to their husbands? Give examples. 

7. Why do you think the commands in this passage on marriage are given to the wife first?  

8. What is a hierarchy? 

9. Which marriage partner is do you think is responsible for establishing the hierarchical relationship described in this passage, the wife or the husband?         

10. What are husbands commanded to do in regard to their wives? 

11. Do you think this kind of love is an emotional feeling or a decision of the will?  

12. According to this passage, what did Christ do to demonstrate his love for the church? 

13. Why did Christ give himself up for the Church? 

14. Define the word “sanctify.” 

15. With what does Christ cleanse his church? 

16. Based on this passage, which of the five senses does the wife use to perceive her husband’s love for her? 

17. What imagery is suggested by the words “washing with water,” “spot,” and “wrinkle?” 

18. From this passage, whose body is the wife a part of? 

19. Whose example should a husband follow? How should he treat his wife? 

20. From this passage, what does the “one flesh” relationship between a husband and a wife represent spiritually? 

21. Do you think a wife’s participation in sexual relations with her husband communicates her submission to him? 

22. Besides being subject to their husbands, what are wives also commanded to do? 

23. Why aren’t wives commanded to love their husbands? 

24. What does this passage say to you about a husband’s greatest need in relation to his wife?  

25. What does this passage say to you about a wife’s greatest need in relation to her husband? 

B. Other Important Passages To Study  

• Submission in Marriage. 1 Peter 3:1-7
• Submission to God. Romans 10:1-4; James 4:5-10
• Submission to Government. Romans 13:1-10;
  1 Peter 2:13-17; Titus 3:1-2
• Submission to Church Leadership. 1 Timothy 2:11-15; 1 Peter 5:5-7
• Submission in the Workplace. 1 Peter 2:18-25
• Submission Between Christians.
  Ephesians 5:15-21  

Want this button?

Thanks for your hard work! I trust you learned some new truth this week. Share your answers on your blog and link up in Mister Linky at Chrysalis by Friday, Nov. 9, 2007. Remember to visit the other friendly Marriage Monday participants.

More study questions are available on the Biblical passages (B) above. If you’re curious, please leave me a comment here at Chrysalis Press. If there’s enough interest, I’ll post them as a follow-up.

If you’re new to this site, welcome. This Bible study is part of a discussion on submission in Christian marriage. Please join us on Nov. 5, 2007 for the Marriage Monday Meme at my primary blog, Chrysalis. See you there!

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo: knox_tri (Flickr)                 

 

Berber or Shag? 

I have come to believe that our greatest strengths, out of balance, can become our greatest area of weakness. Sometimes our loves, which arise out of our natural talents, become the things we lust for. I am a highly visual person. At heart, I am an artist. My eyes are the first way I experience the world. I take in the colors, the movement, and the forms of life first. Then I feel the textures of things and the emotion. Lastly I hear sounds. My mother once said that as an infant, I kept my body very still in my carriage. But my eyes were always quite active, swiveling side-to-side like the ceramic eyes on a ventriloquist’s puppet.  

Learning style theorists say there are three modalities or sensory input channels: sight, sound, and feelings. People usually favor one over the others. For example, let’s say a little boy is taken to the beach for the first time. He has never explored the ocean before. A visual boy will watch the rolling surf and the other children playing in the water; an auditory child will listen intently to the crashing of the breaking waves; and a kinesthetic/feeling person will dive head first into the sea. 

You can tell a person’s main way of perceiving the world by listening to their choice of words. For example, I might say: I see what you mean. I get the picture. An auditory person would say: I hear you. That rings true to me. A kinesthetic/feeling person would say: I am touched by what you have said. That feels right to me. Psychologists say that by mirroring or repeating the types of words and phrases someone uses, you can win their trust. Successful salespeople do this. And so do courtroom lawyers. In conversation, if you shift to the modality a person is using, they will immediately relax and feel understood and accepted. You’ll have an inside track to their heart.  

For years I was a shelter magazine junkie. I scoured every Architectural Digest or House and Garden magazine I could get my hands on. As a professional designer, I often read Interior Design magazine while munching my tuna sandwich at my desk over lunch. And sometimes Karl would come home with magazines from France like Maison et Jardin or Cote Sud, because I love all things French, including Provencal interiors. I could get lost for hours between the pages of those publications. But in a way, for me, those magazines were a kind of pornography. 

Until we bought our first house, I lusted after houses of every kind. I collected all sorts of miniature buildings. They lined the shelves of my kitchen cupboards. There was a Delft blue and white vinegar jar shaped like a stepped-gable Dutch house, a china windmill, and a replica of a Greek whitewashed building. I owned an octagonal silver plate piggy bank shaped like Georgian-style mansion, and a collection of folding cardboard Tudor buildings. At Christmas, I bought a German wooden toy city. There was a steepled church and lots of little red roof houses. I arranged them on top of our fireplace mantle. When I wasn’t at work designing the interiors of stores, offices, banks or hospitals, I spent my time dreaming about how I wanted my own home to look someday.

When the loan finally closed on our first house I was ecstatic. I was pregnant with my second baby, and we definitely couldn’t squeeze one more person in our cramped two-bedroom apartment. I tucked our three-year old daughter in to the back seat of our brown Honda Civic, and drove around the city looking at neighborhoods and houses for four months. We finally settled on a 1909 fixer-upper in one of our city’s nicest but most expensive neighborhoods. The house was in bad shape, but it had good bones: nine foot ceilings, hardwood floors, and interesting woodwork. There was lots of potential. There was even a white picket fence all the way around the back yard.  

It took about five years to transform the place into livable space. We did most of the work ourselves. While Karl and his brothers pounded their hammers, I painted, wallpapered and stitched just about everything. The result was a charming French country look, complete with terra cotta tiles laid on the diagonal in the kitchen. My standards were high. After all, my mother had been able to hire a professional decorator. There was just one problem—we couldn’t afford to buy new furniture, so the house never felt finished. To compensate, I ceaselessly rotated the botanical prints on the walls in the living room (their seasonal migration my family called it), shopped by mail for accessories like lamps and throw pillows, and I stripped and painted garage-sale finds and family hand-me downs. I was finally able to say “O.K. it’s done” when we were asked if we would like to be included on a neighborhood charity Tour of Homes. To me, the compliment was enough and we declined. 

There are many creative ways to beautify an environment, some as inexpensive as the cost of a single gallon of paint, or placing new fabric napkins on a table. Whatever the interior furnishings, it is not difficult to keep a room clean, arrange fresh cut flowers in a vase, or light candles on a dark day. But the best way of all, is to add one’s own cheerful presence. There are no people in those gorgeous magazine spreads. A room comes alive with people. People are the subject. The rest is just a picture frame to set a mood.  

Sometimes our legitimate need for material security and a beautiful environment can get way out of balance. Most of the time, we want what we can’t afford. And everyone’s taste is different. Our sense of style and design naturally has a lot to do with what we were raised with. Unless we take the time to train our eye and elevate our level of exposure, we tend to emulate the interior furnishings of our parent’s home. I have set foot in homes decorated like palaces, and I have been in slums. Both kinds of environments are a reflection of the inhabitants’ experience in life and lifestyle. But I have learned that often, what is an unattractive interior to my eye, does not necessarily reflect the quality of relationships of the people living there.  

So I no longer judge the picture by its frame. Sometimes the ugliest environments shelter the closest, most affectionate families. In a home, it is the quality of love that makes the difference, not the stuff. Even if we don’t have the experience, money or the energy to decorate a room—or even a whole house the way we would like—we can still be kind to one another. And caring, and thoughtful. We can still laugh!

Note: If you’re new here, please visit me at my main weblog, Chrysalis. This post is an adjunct to my piece there entitled, “How to Write Your Autobiography.” I’ll see you when you get there!

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo Credit: Robem (Flickr)

 Once again, I’ve been tagged by a generous soul in blogdom. A fellow-resident of the beautiful (and sometimes soggy) Pacific Northwest, Jennifer at Dairy of 1 is a homeschooling mother of four. She’s asked me to post 8 random things about myself. The rules are here.

If you’re new here, please be sure to visit me at my main web blog Chrysalis. See you there!

1.     My parents sent me to French immersion kindergarten (Quebec). Every Friday, the teacher served our class la glace au chocolat. 

2.     My parents also sent me to French immersion summer camp that year. Without my familiar satin-edged “blankie,” I was cured of sucking my thumb. 

3.     Fast forward 40+ years. Recently, I took a week-long crash course in Hebrew. My nick-name was Naomi which means “The Lord is My Delight.” 

4.     One of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen is My Great Big Fat Greek Wedding. “And the rrrrroot word for Port-o-kalos is portokali… which mean’ O-range… We’ all different, but in the end, we’ all fruit!”  

5.     Canadian Bacon is another funny movie. As a Canadian expat. I especially enjoy the scene where the graffiti on John Candy’s truck must be written en Francais. 

6.     I really don’t like talk radio. But my husband thrives on it during election season. 

7.     Two of my poems are published in anthologies. 

8.     I thought I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. At my very first writer’s conference, all the published authors kept saying, “Don’t quit your day job.” I took their advice and remained a SAM.  

OK, you’re It! (But only if you want to play.) 

• Crickl’s Nest
• Living in Alaska
• My View From the Left Coast 
• Portrait of a Writer… Interrupted
• The Flourishing Mother
• Graced By Christ
• Going Places 
• Surrendering to God’s Gift of Ellie Grace  

Photo Credit: vial3tt3r (Flickr)

 

Red Stripes        

CANCER. I am no longer afraid of that word. Now it’s quite neutral. But it wasn’t that way when I was twenty-seven. 

A dozen black phones marched their way along the third floor window wall of Business Spaces By Design, my second interior design job downtown. The handset nearest my workstation was ringing, so I pushed away from my drawing board and stepped across the aisle to the windows to answer. As I reached for the receiver, I looked down to Fifth Avenue below. I could see an endless ribbon of one-way traffic inching its way south past our tan Italian Revival-style building.  

Looking west across the street toward the bay, I could also see Raintree Tower, an aluminum-clad contemporary office building that soars magnificently above pedestrians on its flaring pedestal base. Frequently, I crossed Fifth Avenue to have lunch in Raintree Square’s four story atrium, and I avoided the traffic by making my way under the street through a winding duct-filled tunnel. I enjoyed sitting at the tables by the railing on the mezzanine level, because right in the middle of the main floor below was a polished grand piano for anyone to play. The strains of music that filled the spacious atrium space were often quite beautiful.  

“Hello,” I spoke into the receiver. The nurse from my internist’s office was kind. “I am sorry,” she said. Your pap smear came back from the lab. It is a Class IV. You’ll need to make an appointment with your gynecologist to schedule a conization. The surgery will tell us how far the cancer has penetrated into your cervix.”  

I was stunned. Cancer? Me? Was it true? Cancer? And why there? Why not the tip of my nose or the end of my little finger? Anywhere else but there. It was embarassing to tell people. The results of an office biopsy performed by my OB/GYN a few days later confirmed the bad news. Spelled out quite clearly in the lab report was my diagnosis—carcinoma in situ. 

I was on the Pill. Almost newlyweds, Karl and I had been married four years. We had no children and I was alarmed. What did this mean? Would I need a hysterectomy? Could I die from this?  

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmingly isolated. It was as if I was imprisoned in a revolving glass door—I could see and hear people on the other side, but we couldn’t touch. Even though I wasn’t suffering any physical symptoms, for the first time in my life, I knew how people who were seriously ill felt: cut off, profoundly alone, and terrified. I might even have to face an early death. I began to grieve. It was a revelation. I knew the living grieved for the dying, but I had never known that the sick and dying grieve too. How could I ever say good-by to the people I loved, and to Karl? 

I scheduled my conization surgery and continued going to work. However, I found myself unable to think very clearly. I aimlessly slid my mayline straight-edge up and down my drawing board and ceaselessly adjusted my black luxo lamp. All I could do was pray.  

Luckily, new projects in the office had dwindled to a trickle. The following Monday, the principals of our firm called a meeting. Would all of the architects and designeres would be willing to take two weeks off without pay? Yes! I thought. Perfect timing. I knew I could use the free time to strengthen my faith for healing, and to ask others to pray for me too.  

Later, as I was pacing around our small ground floor apartment, I caught my reflection in our hall mirror. Looking into my own eyes, I asked myself the question, “Will I be healed?” From somewhere faraway inside me came the reassuring reply: “I have heard your prayer.” Immediately, my fears began to subside, and my faith began to grow. 

My friends prayed for me at church and we continued to pray at home. Even my gynecologist, who was a Christian believer, took my hand and prayed a simple prayer with me in his examining room.  

The night before my surgery, while I was lying in bed, I was reminded of a Bible verse which says, “By his stripes, you have been healed”. (I Pet. 2:24) The verse is in reference to the thirty-nine lashings Christ received prior to his crucifixion. So I began to repeat the verse over and over, as a kind of meditation.  

At the same time, I started to visualize Christ’s painful ordeal: one lashing, ow. Two lashings, ah. Three lashings, ugh. Four, five, six, and on I went until my mind’s eye was completely filled with the vision of Christ’s red, bleeding back.  

Suddenly, I felt a painful burning sensation deep inside my pelvis. I was alarmed, but an inner voice urged me to continue praying in this way. Still feeling pain, I carried on with my prayer while continuing to imagine Christ’s horrific scourging—thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, all the way to thirty-nine lashings. Eventually, the burning sensation in my pelvis subsided. As I drifted off to sleep, I was convinced I had been touched by God in a special way. 

Around noon the next day, the hospital staff wheeled me into post-op after my surgery. My gynecologist approached my gurney, wrapped me in a heated blanket, and gave me a sweet smile. “We couldn’t find any cancer,” he said with tenderness in his voice. “We took a small biopsy which we’ll send to the lab for confirmation. We’ll know for sure in a day or two.” No cancer? I was humbled. And deeply grateful. Indeed, a few days later, the lab report came back with those four wonderful words: no evidence of malignancy. I had been miraculously healed. 

What does one do with one’s life after an experience like that? How was I to live after facing a serious illness, potentially the loss of my ability to bear children, and possibly even death? And how could I avoid a re-ocurrance? What caused the cancer in the first place?  

First, I knew I needed to rededicate myself to a life of loving service to God. “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in Me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you.” (Phil. 4:9) was the verse that spoke to me from my study of Scripture. I had been given the gift of life, and I wanted to give it back to Him.  

Also, I immediately stopped taking birth control pills because I suspected there might be a link between the hormones and my cancer. Later, I read that statistics indicate that half of all women whose fathers had died or deserted their families suffer cervical dysplasia or cancer. That certainly rang true for me.  

Finally, I began to study nutrition. I learned that there were many foods such as cruciferous vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower, and unrefined whole grains that contained cancer preventing compounds. Also, I began to exercise regularly and take multivitamin and mineral supplements. Soon I felt better than ever. 

I feel extremely blessed. I’ve been cancer-free now for twenty-five years.

Note: If you’re new here, please visit my main blog, Chrysalis. This post is adjunctive to my current post, “Praying Beyond the Sick List.” See you there!  

Blessings, e-Mom

Photo Credit: Chris Campbell (Flickr)